my garden is about 80% in. it looks good. gardening lends itself well to my obsessive need for order and patterns 
so, in the ground go all my happy little plants. i stand back and admire how nicely the beds came out. built them myself, thank you very much. 4 4×8 raised beds for now, more to come in the main part of the garden and elsewhere in the yard later. i think grass is overrated.
i’m digressing. back to the point (i know where i’m going with this, even if no one else does). the garden is in. the salad greens will be ready in a few days at most. i’m excited, especially so because i should have had these planted about a month ago. i spray something called “LIQUID FENCE” around the perimeter of the beds. it claims people aren’t supposed to be able to smell it, but that’s a load of crap. in fact what came out of the bottle smelled like a load of dog crap, mixed with something spicy. ick. it’s supposed to keep deer (we have no deer), rabbits (i think we might have rabbits, but i’ve never seen one) and chipminks (we have LOTS) away from the garden. i say good night to the plants–yes, out loud– and go back in the house.
next morning before work i walk outside with my coffee to visit the plants. they have been beheaded. in my half asleep state i looked around, confused and disturbed that someone would come into my yard and steal my broccoli plants. who on earth would do such a thing? i realize i’m not making sense. people might steal a head of broccoli, but not my seedlings. kneeling down i see they were not stolen but rather eaten right down to the ground. so are most of my sugar peas and all of the lettuce, kale, brussel sprouts and spinach. ACK! my poor plants! it would have been easier if i bought the plants, but i didn’t, i grew them. liquid fence my ass. i might as well have put a sign up saying, here’s my garden, please come destroy it! so…..do i start again in pots close to the house? go buy new plants? grow them again and resign myself to a very late season? on an up note, the tomatoes, peppers, shallots, onions and garlic were not bothered. maybe it’s all a sign i should cook more italian food.
